Oh, and P.S.

Chris and I are still together, the guy I blogged about in January? He's wonderful, an understatement, and even  understanding and patient of my not-so-affectionate self right now. Ronan adores him and vice-versa. He treats me like a goddess, or queen, or whatever simile you prefer. I'm officially in love, and I know without doubt this is like no other relationship I've had, but that's a good thing. His lease is up in August and we'll be trying out the living together thing. A little nervous about it because I know I can be hard to live with. Ronan will love it, he always misses when Chris isn't here (he stays with us weekends). Ah, love.

Well, a few things have happened

Since January. Ronan had his second birthday, of which I am still in disbelief. I started my second nervous breakdown and lost my job because of it, another second. Since I'm not eligible for unemployment I am literally broke. Borrowing what I can to make this month's rent and then I'll worry about the rest later.

Ronan isn't in daycare, and I know he misses his friends. Playing with mommy all day just isn't the same, especially when mommy has to spend the better part of her day researching work at home jobs. Trust me, it's the only employment I'm going to get. I've put in over 30 applications to real places and not a single call. Well, one, but they wouldn't give me full time. Geez I think my cat just farted on my lap...

So I'm still having much bipolar remorse and hypersensitivity right now. Good news? The birth father I've been looking for the last four years didn't just go away and forget about me. No, I didn't find him. His baby sister found me, my aunt Renae. She let me know that he in fact passed away about 20 years ago and wished for her to find me. And I also find out I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, whom I'm to meet at least this June at a huge family reunion. It's still all a little more than I can take in, very surreal, but very exciting. I can't wait to meet them and see how all of this goes.

Now, to find income...