A Revelation Hath Occureth

I am quite pleased, yet troubled. There is an explanation to all of my recent emotional behavior, and the dizzy spells I've been having. When I miss a dose of Cymbalta, or take it too late in the day, I begin having neurological withdrawals I like to call "brain zaps." It literally feels like an electric shock to the brain and is equivocal to dizziness, sporadically. But I haven't been missing doses, or taking them off-schedule.

My body is doing what it has always done. It has developed a tolerance to the drug. See, I was blessed with an immune system that could be named as a super power, and also the ability to develop tolerance or immunity to any product I use in or on my body. I have to change shampoos frequently; have to use a different birth control pill starting after a year; my face breaks out using a soap that once before kept it clean and blemish free. Now, I'm experiencing the same downfall with Cymbalta, which I've been taking at the same dosage for nearly two years.

So, now I have to call my doctor, whom I don't like all that well but don't have many other options, to try a different SSRI. Not looking forward to that. Anyone with experience with anti-depressants knows you don't always find a fit on the first try. If it's not the right drug for you, it can make you lose your mind, become suicidal, become completely apathetic, etc. The only side effect I've had to worry about from Cymbalta isn't all that bad. A little trouble in the regularity department, is all. Now I have to start all over with a new drug that takes up to six weeks to be effective enough to know whether or not it's a good fit. And, in that time frame, I could be extremely unfortunate to be around. I think I have been for the last couple of months, anyway. But this could be much, much worse. Wish me luck. And fuck this serotonin imbalance.

Hey, guess what? I just had my first psychic reading. No, no, you read that correctly. I'm drunk and there was a sideline ad for a free five minutes and I said, wtf? And did the do.

Actually - and I don't care what anyone thinks or says about it - that lady knew wtf she was talking about. I said I had never had any experience before so she said she was going to use tarot cards. I had three specific questions, including whether or not I'll be able to find a new job and why I've been feeling so irrevocably lonely. Didn't say much else, but she knew I was going through a bit of chaos and holding a lot of resentment from a previous relationship. That's when I started crying. I think I probably went over the five minutes but who cares. She said I def need to overcome this resentment and bitterness before I attempt a romantic relationship. Other important details: I have unresolved emotional damage, I must overcome my tendency toward jealousy, and that I'm feeling lonely because I don't have a lot of support readily available. I need to reach out toward those I care about and let them know I'm not able to resolve things on my own, because that's their impression.
I know you see on tv or something a lot that desperate women call these psychics and run up bills they can't afford because someone finally understands them. It's always been very humourous to me. Until now. However fake it may be, it sure seemed real for five minutes.