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Again, it's been a while since I posted. I suppose I just get the hankering for an online diary every once in a while.

Let's see, what has changed: my son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and had been on medication since April. He made a drastic turnaround with his behavior without becoming a zombie, like I had feared. He still has bad days, but we all do.

I got sick of driving 45 miles to work every day and was offered a job locally, took it, and am much happier. I took a pay cut, but with the gas money I'm saving it almost evens out. Still living paycheck to paycheck, but what's new about that?

My fiance is waiting to go to a halfway house. We expect he'll be home and free sometime next December. Life hasn't been easy sticking with my incarcerated love, but I figure I waited 32 years for him, a little longer won't kill me. He's more than worth it. My son adores him and calls him dad - the only man who has ever earned that title from him. He truly treats me like a "princess." Like I deserve, I should say. And I love him more each day, and we have grown stronger and closer because of the situation we were forced into.

We are still in our quaint home in a tiny town, with hopes to buy it and never move again. I have lots of remodeling plans to make it our own, update it, repairs, etc. I started by turning the spare bedroom into a walk-in closet/dressing room and oh, my, am I in love with that. Lots of honey-do projects for when the man is home.

All in all we are as happy as can be expected, eagerly awaiting the day we are all reunited but living life as normally as possible. I love my life and there's only one thing I would change. To have him home. To have our family together and finally marry him. Then, we will have our happily ever after.

Growing, and Growing...

I can't believe one week from today my little boy will be 5 years old. It just doesn't seem possible, and I can hardly remember the moments between his birth and now, it's just flown by. His understanding of the world around him is sometimes astonishing. He excels in academics and especially loves numbers and reading (he's yet to learn, but loves being read to). He role-plays with his cars and action figures, and is quite the little engineer with his Legos. He seems to make friends fast, seems to be a little social butterfly, much unlike myself at that age. I'm so overwhelmed with pride in my little man, and breathless at the love that grows and grows with him. I can only hope I'm teaching him the right things and giving him all that he needs in these crucial times. I know every parent (I assume) wants her child to grow up compassionate, self-sufficient, generous...a number of things. But I'm totally there, being very careful to nurture the values I so want him to have. Behavior has been an issue with his father-figure absent. But we're working through it, and he's had a lot of changes recently. I know he'll come out alright, once things are stable and he knows what to expect. And I have to continue to change as he grows and becomes more and more his own autonomous being. So used to doing things for him, I often forget he is very capable and needs to know that, and practice it. He is wanting to learn to tie his shoes, and I'm happy yet not ready for that! Guess we both still have a lot to learn here. I'm loving this growing relationship, and just pray I'm not doing anything that will mess with him as an adult. It all seems very delicate. Ah, I could go on for days.

So, Life, and Karma

To help curb the costs of renting a 3 bedroom house on my own I put out an ad for roommates. And I found them. This was back in October - a young, engaged couple. The rent was cheap and they had their own room. They seemed really cool at first, like younger versions of Phillip and me. But then they got a little too comfortable. They were slobs, and the girl was stuck up and felt like she was entitled to MY things. I had to ask her to stop going in my room, as she was using and taking my things. She acted like it was no big deal and said she'd stop.

Fast forward to a week-and-a-half ago. I had broken the news that I found a house that was cheaper, in another town outside of the city, and that I'd be moving. Wasn't any big deal to me - they owed me $600 in rent and they weren't under any contract. One early morning I approached her about taking things from my room, again, and she attacked me. One black eye, bloody nose and cheek later, I called reinforcements and moved out that day, leaving them with no refrigerator, furniture, or any kitchenware. They refused to leave, saying they had a right to stay there for 30 days. Well, I don't know where they are now, but the landlord reported they moved before he could evict them. You know, I've been beat up once before, and Karma kicked his ass too.

My son is adjusting to his new school and making new friends. He misses the city, but I know he'll adapt to the country life just fine, especially since we're now only 5 minutes away from his grandparents. Phillip is excited about the move and to join us once he returns home. I'm once again surrounded by a host of friends who actually care about us - this is the town I grew up in. Yes, it's small, inconvenient compared to the city life, but it's always been home, and I know what to expect here. Sometimes that's a very good thing.