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Again, it's been a while since I posted. I suppose I just get the hankering for an online diary every once in a while.

Let's see, what has changed: my son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and had been on medication since April. He made a drastic turnaround with his behavior without becoming a zombie, like I had feared. He still has bad days, but we all do.

I got sick of driving 45 miles to work every day and was offered a job locally, took it, and am much happier. I took a pay cut, but with the gas money I'm saving it almost evens out. Still living paycheck to paycheck, but what's new about that?

My fiance is waiting to go to a halfway house. We expect he'll be home and free sometime next December. Life hasn't been easy sticking with my incarcerated love, but I figure I waited 32 years for him, a little longer won't kill me. He's more than worth it. My son adores him and calls him dad - the only man who has ever earned that title from him. He truly treats me like a "princess." Like I deserve, I should say. And I love him more each day, and we have grown stronger and closer because of the situation we were forced into.

We are still in our quaint home in a tiny town, with hopes to buy it and never move again. I have lots of remodeling plans to make it our own, update it, repairs, etc. I started by turning the spare bedroom into a walk-in closet/dressing room and oh, my, am I in love with that. Lots of honey-do projects for when the man is home.

All in all we are as happy as can be expected, eagerly awaiting the day we are all reunited but living life as normally as possible. I love my life and there's only one thing I would change. To have him home. To have our family together and finally marry him. Then, we will have our happily ever after.

Growing, and Growing...

I can't believe one week from today my little boy will be 5 years old. It just doesn't seem possible, and I can hardly remember the moments between his birth and now, it's just flown by. His understanding of the world around him is sometimes astonishing. He excels in academics and especially loves numbers and reading (he's yet to learn, but loves being read to). He role-plays with his cars and action figures, and is quite the little engineer with his Legos. He seems to make friends fast, seems to be a little social butterfly, much unlike myself at that age. I'm so overwhelmed with pride in my little man, and breathless at the love that grows and grows with him. I can only hope I'm teaching him the right things and giving him all that he needs in these crucial times. I know every parent (I assume) wants her child to grow up compassionate, self-sufficient, generous...a number of things. But I'm totally there, being very careful to nurture the values I so want him to have. Behavior has been an issue with his father-figure absent. But we're working through it, and he's had a lot of changes recently. I know he'll come out alright, once things are stable and he knows what to expect. And I have to continue to change as he grows and becomes more and more his own autonomous being. So used to doing things for him, I often forget he is very capable and needs to know that, and practice it. He is wanting to learn to tie his shoes, and I'm happy yet not ready for that! Guess we both still have a lot to learn here. I'm loving this growing relationship, and just pray I'm not doing anything that will mess with him as an adult. It all seems very delicate. Ah, I could go on for days.

So, Life, and Karma

To help curb the costs of renting a 3 bedroom house on my own I put out an ad for roommates. And I found them. This was back in October - a young, engaged couple. The rent was cheap and they had their own room. They seemed really cool at first, like younger versions of Phillip and me. But then they got a little too comfortable. They were slobs, and the girl was stuck up and felt like she was entitled to MY things. I had to ask her to stop going in my room, as she was using and taking my things. She acted like it was no big deal and said she'd stop.

Fast forward to a week-and-a-half ago. I had broken the news that I found a house that was cheaper, in another town outside of the city, and that I'd be moving. Wasn't any big deal to me - they owed me $600 in rent and they weren't under any contract. One early morning I approached her about taking things from my room, again, and she attacked me. One black eye, bloody nose and cheek later, I called reinforcements and moved out that day, leaving them with no refrigerator, furniture, or any kitchenware. They refused to leave, saying they had a right to stay there for 30 days. Well, I don't know where they are now, but the landlord reported they moved before he could evict them. You know, I've been beat up once before, and Karma kicked his ass too.

My son is adjusting to his new school and making new friends. He misses the city, but I know he'll adapt to the country life just fine, especially since we're now only 5 minutes away from his grandparents. Phillip is excited about the move and to join us once he returns home. I'm once again surrounded by a host of friends who actually care about us - this is the town I grew up in. Yes, it's small, inconvenient compared to the city life, but it's always been home, and I know what to expect here. Sometimes that's a very good thing.

Moving, Maturing, and Men

Wow, where do I start?

So I lived in the house with the other single mom for about six months. She got married and moved out...and got a strange new attitude toward our friendship. We are no longer on speaking terms, unfortunately. But that was my call after she said some terrible things to me and displayed her true colors as no more than an elitist, judgemental beeotch.

I stayed in the four-bedroom house and got a new roommate. A man, whom I'd met and dated briefly, which then turned into a friendship. He loves kids and proved to be great with Ronan and a decent roommate. His name is Phillip. More on him later.

Landlord of the home decided he wanted to sell! So, there I was getting ready to move again after I'd decided I'd found a place I wanted to call home for a long time. So be it. But we found a great three-bedroom home, three blocks from the school Ronan would start pre-k at. Phillip would have the master suite, an add-on over the garage, and Ronan and I would be side by side in the downstairs bedrooms. I made sure I could afford the place on my own in case the roommate situation didn't work out. He seemed about as fickle as me on where our relationship stood. Let's just say we were friends on a regular basis but more than friends on a frequent basis. But I kept my distance and my heart guarded.

We moved, with just myself, Phillip and a friend of his to move the entire house. We accomplished it in one day, somehow, and worked our butts off to do so and save on the rental truck. Apparently my hard work was the catalyst for Phillip regarding his feelings for me. More on that later.

Ronan loves the new place. He's got a room big enough to keep all his toys in, but plenty of room to spread out, like creating a racetrack on the coffee table ottoman, and has claimed my $10 thrift store armless "hug-me" chair as his own. He sleeps peacefully and has a ginormous back yard to run around in, ride his bike and have ninja sword fights. He loves school and is doing very well. Actually, his teacher reported he gets bored with the curriculum because he's so far ahead of the other kids! He had some behavior issues for the first couple of months, but everything has been ironed out and he's doing well. He also attends daycare after school and has improved in that area as well. He's getting so grown up in his 4 1/2 year old little body. Five is just around the corner this coming February. He's decided on a Transformers theme.

Phillip and I have been serious since the first Monday after we moved in May. I'm sure there's an easy-to-figure date, but at the moment I'm too lazy to look it up. I officially moved into his room about 3 months ago. He has become an amazing father, and an amazing partner. Sometimes it's scary how much we are alike, but we are just different enough to keep things interesting. We  have officially planned on getting married and having a child of our own. Never thought I would be having another baby, but now I can't wait. I've still got a good few years left on my biological clock, so there's no rush. And Ronan is looking forward to having a little brother or sister.

So, I'm officially no longer single mom. Phillip has had to leave for a while to take care of some legal issues, so I'm at it on my own again for now. But, just like riding a bike, I'm holding things together.

I suppose that covers life. I've had a few different jobs this year but finally found one I love. I'm working as a seamstress for a small company that makes custom leather auto seat covers. Love, love, love. It's so nice to look forward to going to work everyday.

I almost forgot. I'm no longer agnostic. Phillip helped me find my way back to God with a simple prayer. A "thank you" for watching over the little things in my life. I've found so much peace in my new-found faith.

That's the update. Hope you enjoyed. I hope to keep this up a little better. No, a lot better. I enjoy having a catalog of events of the little things that go on in my unpredictable life. I like it that way though....unpredictable. Attribute it to the bipolar, if you will. But things are never dull, for sure.

Life, Volume 33

It's been over a year since my last post and a lot has happened. Not going to catch up just yet as I'm typing this from my phone. But soon. Glad to be back.

Just Sayin...

We received an overpayment of child support AGAIN. Last time it was only $170. This time it's over $400. I'll receive a letter saying they can deduct 10% of the regular payment until the overpayment is reconciled. Why do they do this?? On a happier note, Ronan seems to be progressing in his potty training. Well, during the day. He has suddenly started wetting the bed every night. I don't think we've changed anything? Even if I get up in the middle of the night he's already wet. Hmmm. And he refuses to wear anything but underwear now - no PullUps.

What's Behind the Brands We Trust

I already published this article on my vegan diary blog. But, people need to know - I have used many of these brands for years without knowing they perform animal testing on their products. Please make yourself aware, and hopefully you can begin to try new brands that are cruelty-free.

Being Vegan: What's Behind the Brands We Trust

What Will I Plant in My New Garden?

I am so excited - how will I contain myself for 2 whole months? Ronan and I are moving out of this dinky, roach-infested, college-student-ridden apartment complex and into a rent home.

A long-time good friend (also a single mother) and I are moving in to a 4-bedroom 1-3/4 bath house with enough room for a play area, a craft area, a mudroom, and a huge backyard and patio. The kitchen is sizable, with a nice, separate dining nook and of course "watsa, watsa" cabinet space (Ronan loves using that adjective).

We will both be closer to work. The boys (hers is 5) will have separate rooms so they don't have to be around each other all of the time. Individual rent and utilities will be cheaper. Instant babysitter! Above all, I can't wait for Ronan to have all of that room to run around. There is a garden, already prepared, that is about 16x20, a storage shed, and even a dog run - who knows?

I've made it a year here, an accomplishment that was difficult and that I am proud of. I wasn't going to move, so that Ronan could actually know a "home" for a change. But this house will be home, and a much better one. My friend and I are so stinking excited, and the boys both loved the place. We know of course, their stamp of approval is the most important of all. I don't know that they realize what is going on yet, even though it's been discussed, but hopefully the new won't wear off and they'll enjoy the mom-mune idea. Hey, it's working for groups of single moms over the country to combat the economy - why not us?

So, who's not busy at the end of July?? :)