Started hardcore potty training this past weekend. Going...well...even if it's on and off, depending on his mood. Though he still won't have a bm where it's supposed to go. And it doesn't bother him when he's soiled. Patience. And lots of hand-washing.
A week-and-a-half from now I attend a child support hearing via teleconference in Virginia. Ronan's "father" wants to reduce the amount of child support by over 50%. I would love to just say, let him. But I wouldn't even be able to afford daycare then...So I'm telling myself I did the right thing by my son's future in hiring an attorney in Staunton, VA to petition his MOA. Did I? I don't want Ronan to wonder who his father was the rest of his life, like I am now, but I also don't want him to be heartbroken by Jonathon's blatant disregard for his existence, let alone his welfare.
Next up to bat: After two years of struggling to pay retainer and filing fees, I finally have everything aligned to file a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. Just waiting for the 70-odd page petition to be drawn up for my review and signature. Then off to court to feel even more humiliated about the whole thing than I already do. But, it will be over, finally. And I will have a chance to start rebuilding my credit. I'll never be able to afford a house on my own, but being a good influence and teacher for my son is priority.
And last, but certainly not least - the most recent news. I had my annual "lady" exam last week, and the results came back abnormal. Not just sort of abnormal, where they would just do another test in a few months. I have to have a colposcopy, which involves taking a biopsy of the affected tissue. This bothers me greatly because I was infected with human papillomavirus (HPV) years ago. I had to have exams every three months and colposcopies every four or so months. The reason being, HPV is the main cause for cervical cancer. My last biopsy showed suspicion of pre-cancerous cells, and so a loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP) was performed to remove all of the affected tissue. Deep breath. This abnormal test could very likely be the result of the HPV returning. Deep breath. It might be a little easier to process if I didn't contract the virus in the first place because of a very horrible experience for which I had to seek therapy. All I can do for now is wait for my appointment and hope that it's something else. Something less...sinister.
Depressing post, I apologize. But if I don't get this out of my head I won't make it to the pillow tonight.
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